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Oakland A's blow it again

Over here at the Cohn Zohn, we just can't get enough of the Oakland A's. This joke franchise keeps on giving with the laughs.

You may not have noticed the latest bulletin -- it got buried in the news -- but it's even funnier than the A's considering a TV deal with a Sacramento station. On Thursday they sent outfielder Carlos Gonzalez down to Triple-A Sacramento.

Gonzalez? According to what the A's once told us, Gonzalez is the future of the franchise, the shining-light young player who is the face of the bright new A's. Right.

The shining light couldn't even hold his place on the A's despite their crummy roster. Oakland moved him down to make room for Ryan Sweeney who came off the Disabled List. So, Gonzalez was expendable because of Ryan freakin Sweeney. Some face of the franchise.

Oh, there was a press release. It said Gonzalez -- the next Willie Mays? -- was batting .204 after the All-Star break, as in give us all a break, and was 2 for 39 (.051) for his last 13 games.

We want to remind you of something. Gonzalez was the main piece in the Dan Haren trade, the jewel in the crown. Now the jewel languishes in Sacramento. What does this tell you about the A's ability to judge talent?

We direct our remarks to A's fans who should be disgusted with the A's -- an organization that can't get it right but pretends it knows what it's doing. We direct our remarks to our loyal fans at firejoemorgan.com, who mindlessly worship Billy Beane as if Beane is the crown prince of baseball. Wake up. This Gonzalez mess should make you reconsider your position as lifelong Beanophiles. Wise up. Please join a 12-step program to overcome your Beane addiction. Please.

There's more. The A's want you to believe they're "building" in a brilliant and rational manner. Really? We here at the Zohn wonder who plays in the infield in 2009 when the team is supposed to be reconstituted and good. The A's need a first baseman. They need a second baseman because we don't believe Mark Ellis gets invited back next season. The A's need a shortstop unless you believe Bobby Crosby is the answer -- at best, he's a middle-of-the-pack kind of guy, certainly no Miguel Tejada. The A's need a third baseman. That's how bad things are, and we haven't even gotten to the outfield yet.

Like the A's, the Giants are a crummy team. No one at the Zohn disputes that. But the Giants have one thing the A's don't. The Giants have Tim Lincecum. The other night he threw 132 pitches, which means the Giants are giving loyal fans someone to watch, someone to appreciate. They are providing flashes of brilliance and excellence. The A's don't even do that -- they would have traded Lincecum long ago. Gonzalez was supposed to be the flash and you saw what happened to him. The A's provide a boring unwatchable team. The A's don't care about thrilling their fans. They say the thrill will come some time in Fremont, if Fremont ever really happens.

But wait. We have an explanation for this demotion of Gonzalez. Really, Beane has a plan. Really, it's brilliant. He sent Gonzalez down so the Rivercats can win the Pacific Coast League championship. Billy desperately wants to be voted minor-league executive of the year. He sure has our vote.

--Iggy and Lowell

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Comments | Add Comment

Posted By: matt (02/09/2008 2:52:15 PM)
Comment: Regardless of how you feel about Beane and about the greatness that is Lincecum the facts are 1) the A's have a better record than the Giants 2) The Giants play in what could be the worst division in the history of baseball (division winner finishing under .500) 3) The Giants' payroll is 30 MILLION more than the A's (more than 60 percent higher). I would also throw in that this Cohn loser is exactly a Mariotti wanna-be (as someone pointed out) and that aint an enviable title.

Posted By: kay (01/09/2008 9:03:43 AM)
Comment: I agree that the a's are pointless. I used to be a fan before beane made oakland into a bus stop for descent players. For example, as soon as Ellis made headlines, talk started up about him maybe being traded. Heaven forbid they have someone good on the roster.

Posted By: travdog6 (31/08/2008 1:14:24 AM)
Comment: funny thing about lincecum. in his 2 starts against the AL this year (not including the a's of course as their offense is terrible) his ERA was 6.75. hmm coincidence?

Posted By: pete g (30/08/2008 1:06:45 PM)
Comment: nice work, boys. eliciting these comments must be more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Posted By: nomad (29/08/2008 10:23:38 PM)
Comment: Is this guy retarted or something? Or maybe mentally slow? ( not that I have anything against the handicap ) I just don't think they should be writing stories in the paper without a disclaimer. Than maybe we would understand his complete ingnorance or stupidity and brush it off.

Posted By: Chris (29/08/2008 7:35:34 PM)
Comment: What did Beane do to piss you off so much?? Gonzalez is a bust already?? He's what 21, 22?? I have saved this page so that I can reference it in three years, when the A's are a postseason team again and the Giants still suck. And 132 pitches for one game for Lincecum?? Yikes that's a lot. You better pray that the Giants stop over-pitching him.

Posted By: streamsofwhiskey (29/08/2008 6:08:12 PM)
Comment: Cohn is an idiot. He's a wannabe Jay Marrioti. Have fun with that.

Posted By: sactodavey (29/08/2008 3:46:10 PM)
Comment: a's should move to sacramento where they belong ... they could switch places with the rivercats!

Posted By: jock (29/08/2008 3:45:18 PM)
Comment: His grammar doesn't suck as much as a's suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: http:// (29/08/2008 3:22:03 PM)
Comment: your grammar sucks pedro

Posted By: pedro (29/08/2008 2:58:08 PM)
Comment: a's may suck, but they're fans suck more!!!

Posted By: mike p. (29/08/2008 2:57:07 PM)
Comment: I agree with Lowell (and Jack) ... a's suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: Jeremy (29/08/2008 2:37:33 PM)
Comment: This is one of the dumber columns I've ever read. The Giants have a great young pitcher in Lincecum, and little else. Who's involved in the infield of the future of the Giants? Who do they have at 3rd? SS? 2nd? 1st? C'mon.. the Giants have some starting pitching but the A's farm system destroys the Giants'. He who casts the first stone should at least have some leg to stand on. Worthless column

Posted By: jack m. (29/08/2008 2:31:24 PM)
Comment: Lowell nails it again ... it's like calling the emperor naked - all these other columnists continue to blindly worship beane despite the fact that his "model" clearly is not working ... trade away good, recognizeable players once they start earning some reasonable dollars for some prospects ... when these prospects start getting some fan appeal and start making some bucks, guess what? yep, they're gone. As a result, it seems fans (what few of them there were in the first place) are fed up and don't bother to show up at the park anymore. Who could blame 'em anyway? Very boring product ... unwatchable, as Lowell so aptly describes. Lowell's calling it like he sees it ... refreshing in an area where all the other reporters blindly worship beane's every move as oh, so genius. a's fans (again both of you) should wake up and smell the coffee (or your case, the sewer) ... your team basically sucks.

Posted By: JD (29/08/2008 2:10:36 PM)
Comment: It's posts like this that make me happy. Why? Well, it's not because I'm also an irrational A's hater. It's because, as a writer, I know that if people can get paid for this drivel I am absolutely going to be a very successful person one day. Thank you for the inspiration!

Posted By: Joe (29/08/2008 1:48:41 PM)
Comment: Iggy is really smart about the A's! Wait. No he's not. http://forums.warriorsworld.net/main/msgs/2127323.phtml

Posted By: Cody Zach (29/08/2008 12:25:18 PM)
Comment: Nothing substantial to say, huh. I don't blame you, I would be extremely bitter if Brian Sabean were my GM. I mean, c'mon, you probably still cannot sleep due to your brilliant GM trading away Joe Nathan, LIRIANO, and Bonser for...(drumroll)... one year of A.J.. Yeah, life is hard.

Posted By: You're kidding (29/08/2008 12:16:41 PM)
Comment: You're kidding, right? Really? You're calling Gonzalez a bust at age what, 22? Brilliant, knowledgeable baseball columnist.

Posted By: LOL (29/08/2008 12:01:33 PM)
Comment: Why does being a Giants' fan mean you have to automatically hate the A's and Billy Beane? The only thing I can think of is some sort of inferiority/jealously complex that makes you despise the neighbor that has the better looking wife and kids, which is also probably true in your case.

Posted By: Bobby (29/08/2008 11:29:20 AM)
Comment: The A's would have traded Lincecum a long time ago? When have the A's ever traded a prospect as good or even close to Lincecum? Those are the guys they obviously value. I know you'll just bring up Haren (who wasn't traded before his 2nd season was over) to which I'll say this - If the Giants were offered for Lincecum what the A's were offered for Haren, and they didn't take it, they're foolish. Giants fans can enjoy Lincecum as the lone bright spot for the next half decade while the A's quickly become contenders again.

Posted By: Larry 'Hank' Jones (29/08/2008 11:29:14 AM)
Comment: What did Billy Beane do to piss you off so bad? There's obviously something personal behind your repeated attacks. As far as Gonzalez goes, I wouldn't go concluding the kid's a bust quite yet. He's hardly the first player to struggle early on. Not only that, but if memory serves, when they traded for him, pretty much everyone agreed that he was a year or two away. In that sense, you could say he's already exceeded expectations. And, oh yeah, Ryan freaking Sweeney? Another Beane masterstroke.

Posted By: J Canseco (29/08/2008 10:53:50 AM)
Comment: Please back your comments up. Let us know what you will do over the next 5-10 years when the A's consistently put a winning product on the field, and you're eating your words. Give us something concrete so we can laugh at you. Like, donate some money to charity. You have to make this game worthwhile somehow. Otherwise you're just another inflammatory knucklehead with nothing substantial to add.